She was an unwanted child; her childhood was very traumatic; She was a mother at fifteen years and married at seventeen. By twenty-one she was a mother of three. What was remarkable about her was her possibility thinking. Even though she heard negative comments such as, “you are evil, you are not going to amount to anything.” Though painful and caused the development of a low sense of self, lurking underneath was her thought ,“If I am given the opportunity, I will do as good or better.”
That girl was me, now viterose Elaine Van Huis. As early as elementary school, it seems that Elaine Reid was always mentioned and often not in relation to anything positive. I often wondered if I was called Viterose, would it have been that easy to call my name? In my teen years I knew what it was like to be sick, hungry, penniless, homeless, and with the feeling as if the whole world was against me. There are not enough words to express the hopelessness I sometimes felt.
Within me there was resiliency though, a thriving to do better, and to be better. Not knowing about living intentionally, I nevertheless thrive to be intentional in all my habits. Being a mother and wife at such a young age was problematic for me. I was particularly embarrassed about having children at such a young age. Therefore, I wanted to excel; making a good impression was primary for me.
When our souls seek and search, we are rewarded. A chapter in one of the Adventist books entitled Reach for the stars got my full attention. Although I now don’t believe in the full premise of the book; the foundation that book laid played and continues to play a fundamental part in shaping the human that I am. From it I learned that in reaching, even if I didn’t reach the stars and I reached the mountain top I would still be successful.
That book addressed the development of every aspect of our being: Speech, time, deportment, dress, health, education, money, and our gifts, or talents. I got the concept of growing old gracefully from that book. The comprehensive guidance in that book was exactly what I needed. I am grateful that I was in a learning mode. Additionally, in my husband’s library I found books like Think and Grow Rich; How to Win Friends and Influence People; How to Stop Worrying and Start Living and Move Ahead with Possibility Thinking. I was like an absorbent sponge; I sought to emulate every good habit and practice I was exposed to; and I was intentional in exposing myself to the books and the people that would contribute to my growth and development.
Dale Carnegie, in How to stop Worrying and start living states: “Two men looked out from prison bars, one saw mud and the other saw stars.” In other words, one has two options. One can look down and wallow in negativity or look up and see possibilities. I looked out of my problematic childhood and saw the stars. Did I learn and do everything perfectly? No, it was a process. I am still learning. However, with every challenge and trial I encountered, I continued to look up and see the stars.
Often the trials and tribulations of life propel us into excellence. Usually, the most dynamic individual you encounter has much to offer because of the difficulties of their lives. Rising above the challenges that life brings begins with a thought. “He can, who thinks he can.” Thoughts are fundamental to our success or failure. Amazingly, in addition to being intentional, I had the firm belief that all things are possible. I sometimes failed, of course, but there was always the satisfaction that I gave it my all.
Now in this season of my life I am truly grateful for the discipline that book exposed me to. I am also grateful that I had the presence of mind to embrace the guidance. Today, I can boldly agree with Carl Jung's words, “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” I chose to be intentional. Every one of us has that choice.
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